I contacted the Centre for Catholic Studies, at Durham University, trying to track down the only book I could find on-line about Our Lady of Muswell 12th C Holy Well, Pilgrim Shrine and Benedictine Order of Nuns, by John A Goodall - listed on Amazon, of all places!
Durham didn't have this book listed but they had another. Originally in the London CTS Library but moved, with the entire collection, to Durham Uni's Bill Bryon Library, thanks to a not so wee mould problem.
Only 5% of this collection was available to the public and miraculously, in that 5% was a single book on Our Lady of Muswell, not by Goodall but by J.F. Connolly and J. Harvey Bloom, (Orphan's Press, Rochdale, 1933) - "An Island of Clerkenwell, Notes on the Chapel and Well of Our Lady of Muswell".
Durham Uni very kindly granted me a visitors pass to come and study this book, during the summer holidays and so I based my annual retreat around a lovely few days in sunny Durham.
So, what did I learn, that I didn't already know and have already written about in my first blog? Well, loads actually, particularly information which proved directly relevant to my current vocation discernment. God does nothing by accident, and He is the great encourager!
Strong Connection between the Benedictine Nuns of Our Lady of Muswell and the Laity
The Benedictine Nuns of Our Lady of Muswell, belonged to their central London Motherhouse Congregation, Our Lady of Clerkenwell. This Benedictine Order was not originally founded by a woman who went on to become a professed religious Nun, as is often the case. This Benedictine Order was founded in, ~1144, by a Lay man, called Ralph Brisset in order to "Honor God and Our Lady of Clerkenwell". Clerkenwell gets it's name too from a very famous Holy Well, which was also site for the annual Mystery Plays. In the British Museum there is an original Charter of a Deed between Theobald, Archbishop of Canterbury and a Nun called Christina, who was the first Prioress of the newly formed Clerkenwell Benedictine Nuns, which granted them certain land ownership rights.
Fast forward to the 16th C, on the brink of Reformation, the Clerkenwell Nuns now owned extensive gifted lands, one of which was an outer London Priory and dairy farm, on land donated by Bishop of London Richard de Belmeis in 1153, which then became the renowned Catholic Holy Well and Pilgrim shrine of Our Lady of Muswell, following King Malcolm IV's miraculous cure after drinking the Holy Well waters. As the destructive storm of the Reformation closed in, the then Prioress of the Clerkenwell Nuns Motherhouse, Elizabeth Sackfield, leased the land, Chapel, Farm and Holy Well of Our Lady of Muswell, to a humble Lay man, a retired cellarer from Henry VIII's household staff, a man called John Averyre:
" The land was henceforth no longer the property of the religious but of Lay men", (p14)
John Averyre must have been in the last years of his life because the record show that the land then passed to another Lay man within a matter of a few years. The book then goes onto list all the historical documents that record the various Lay landowners, over the next ~400 years.
I already knew that during Elizabeth 1st's reign a Lay man called Alderman Rowe erected a house over the Holy Well, presumably to make it easier for underground Catholic's to continue to make pilgrimages there, but I didn't know that the original Benedictine Nun's Chapel was also still standing in the 16th C and not been destroyed in Henry VIII's Reformation rage. This was evidenced in an extract from John Norden's 'Speculum Britanniae', 1593, which referenced to the standing Chapel.
All that made me realise how canny the last Prioress of the Clerkenwell Motherhouse had been in deciding to lease Our Lady of Muswell's Holy Well, pilgrim site and farmlands to potentially a devote, humble, Lay Catholic, in the last years of his earthly life, who had worked as one of Henry VIII's most important household staff, his cellarer, whom the King may have had a bit of a soft spot for? Was this the reason why the Chapel and Holy Well were not sacked in the Reformation? Genius.
Historical link between Scots King Malcolm IV and Our Lady of Muswell Shrine and Holy Well
The connection to Scots King Malcolm IV and Our Lady of Muswell's Holy Well can be seen in documents which reference to the shrine. The Scottish Kings, under their English given titles were called the Earls of Huntingdom, all of whom were documented Benefactors of the Clerkenwell Benedictine Nun's Motherhouse and were clearly friends of the congregation. Now it seems very plausible that King Malcolm IV would most likely stop and rest for a drink from the Well of the Clerkenwell Nun's outer London Priory, whereby he received the miraculous cure of his Padget's disease and the throngs of Catholic pilgrims began.
How Our Lady of Muswell Holy Well Survived the 17th and 18th Century's
The Chapters detailing the history of Our Lady of Muswell Holy Well, Pilgrim Shrine and Chapel during the 17th and 18th Centuries were also interesting. Overall, the book simply list's the various different Lay landowners but there were a couple of points of interest that jumped out.
In the 17th and 18thC, the Holy Well of Our Lady of Muswell was still a popular pilgrim site but not for Catholic religious reasons. These were the 'Spa' boom times. It appears that the Holy Well survived destruction by being re-branded as a generic 'healing Spa'. The emphasis changed to the secular - was it now the mineral properties of the Holy Well's water that brought about healing, rather than the power of God, through the powerfull, primary intercession of Our Lady of Muswell, using the medium Holy Well waters instead? Despite the anti-Catholic times it seems that even if the religious significance of the Holy Well was lost, the name of Our Lady of Muswell was still connected to the land, by everyday folk.
This reminded me of the modern day Muswell Hill, that I knew, when I lived there for about 10+ years, after buying my first property there, before I received my vocation call and entered the monastery. The modern Muswell Hill exists in a 20th C culture of atheism, much like the areligious times of the 17th and 18th C. In the 20th C modern Muswell Hill, the historical fact of Our Lady of Muswell's healing Holy Well was adopted and incorporated into the area's identity, almost giving the sense that to buy/rent or work in Muswell Hill will at the same time allow a person access to the healing 'power' of the ancient Holy Well just by 'being' in the area. During my time in Muswell Hill the Holy Well history was recorded on GP website Home pages, in pubs named after Our Lady of Muswell and local estate agent location website 'selling point' blurbs and there was also a very pricey local Spa called, wait for it, The Sanctuary. God is a genius and He knows how to keep the flame of Faith alive, in even the darkest times.
19th Century - The Missed Opportunity
By the 19th C, the Spa fever era seems to have waned and the book mentions that there was even a point when the destruction of the original Holy Well was considered, potentially so more profitable properties could be built over it.
By 1859 the lands of Our Lady of Muswell's ancient shrine were now dotted with ever increasing Mansion buildings, like the Bird's Estate. Thomas Rhodes owned such a mansion on this land. Records show that his family, by this time after his death, made a 'great action' to stop another Muswell land tenant covering over the ancient Holy Well, in order to build new houses on it. The reason the Rhodes family gave was not religious based or about trying to preserve/protect the Catholic Heritage but to stand up for the needs of the local poor who were using the abandoned Holy Well for their laundry. I don't think for a minute that God or Our Lady would mind the poor using the Holy Well to keep their families clean - God always stands on the poor man's side. How poetic and it worked, the Holy Well was not destroyed at that point thanks to the Rhodes family's compassion for the poor.
Unfortunately, for the rest of the 19th C, news for the ancient Holy Well of Our Lady of Muswell took a sad turn. In July 1899 the House of Lords published the 'Finsbury and Hornsey Adjustment Scheme', which saw the 'detached portion of Clerkenwell transferred back to the ownership of the parish of Hornsey. This was all due to all the many headaches involved with having to deal with the Clerkenwell parishes over the necessary widening of Colney Hatch Lane, which cut through Our Lady of Muswell land, as the demands of in-coming commuting traffic to London increased.
In 1890 a local committee in the Hornsey parish was appointed to inspect the ancient Holy Well and found it to be: 'railed but very dilapidated'. The committee contacted the Vestry in Clerkenwell and recommended that they purchase the Freehold of the Holy Well and put the Holy Well, 'in proper order and maintain it forever'. But for some reason this never happened.
Fast forward to 1898 and this time the Vestry of Clerkenwell makes an application to the London Financial Association that the 'Old Well' might be transferred to the Clerkenwell Vetry as an historical relic - but they never recieved a reply and the Holy Well was lost.
Photo c.1901. In 1900 the builder C W Scott built houses here and removed the ancient Holy Well.
...but not quite.
This is a photo of a plaque that you can see on the front of No. 40 Muswell Hill Road. It marks the house that C W Scott built over the original Holy Well of Our Lady of Muswell.
Why not make a wee, discrete pilgrimage there, next time you are in Muswell Hill?
Why not consider hiding a wee blessed Miraculous Medal in the cracks of the outer front garden wall or in the hedge - but don't break the law, cause any damage or get into trouble - perhaps it's best to pray Our Lady of Muswell's Novena there instead:)
All the earliest records about Our Lady of Muswell's ancient Holy Well state that there were in fact two Wells, one had clear water, one had less clear water. Is one Well under the site of the modern parish Church of Our Lady of Muswell and the other under No. 40 Muswell Road?
When I was living in Muswell Hill, by a great miracle, I met a parishioner who had befriended the woman who was currently renting the ground floor flat, at No. 40 Muswell Road. I saw with my own eyes the concrete capped Well right there at the back of the property - and yet so hidden and dormant, totally inaccessible to the public, much less to the ancient 'throngs' of Catholic pilgrims. How sad.
Is it God's Will that No.40 Muswell Road will one day be the property of the Catholic Church? Is this where God wants the newly reformed Benedictine Order of Nuns to be based, as custodians once again to the fully restored ancient Holy Well of Our Lady of Muswell?
Nothing is impossible for God.
The Monastic Revival of Our Lady of Muswell
In 1904 an exiled Carmelite Third Order of St Martin de Tours, came to Muswell Hill and set up a Convent and school, using one of it's rooms for Sunday Masses for the local Muswell Hill Catholic's. It was supported by a neighbouring East Finchley parish Priest. Fast forward 13 years later and the Muswell Hill's own dedicated Catholic parish was re-born, under it's first Priest Fr Powell in 1917.
This Carmelite order had a Benedictine connection - they had been living in a part of the old Benedictine Abbey of Augevine since 1830. Interestingly that Benedictine religious order had also been founded by a Lay woman, Emma, Duchess of Aquitaine.
The Muswell Hill Carmelite convent was still there in 1933, when the Connely/Bloom book on Our Lady ofMuswell was published but has long since gone - but God clearly used it as a sort of spiritual seed.
...Is it God's will for me to pick up the torch and be part of God's Lay/Monastic 'long fostered seed', for the complete renaissance and return of the 12th C pilgrim Holy Well and Benedictine Order of Our Lady of Muswell?
...Fancy my Miraculous Medal Rosary turning grey during Our Lady of Fatima's 100th anniversary Mass and me selling/leaving everything within a year to join a monastic order, that just so happened to have a statue of Our Lady of Muswell in it's Motherhouse Novice classroom and a copy of the Novena in it's cupboard? ... what are the odds of that?
...Fancy being moved to a foundation of that monastic congregation, who's Chaplain was once a Deacon in Our Lady of Muswell parish? This same Chaplain who put me in touch with other ex-Nun spiritual abuse survivors from the same congregation, confirming that it was the Holy Spirit who led me out of that congregation? ... what are the odds of that?
...Fancy the first Lay person to show me any kindness and re-settlement support, on the first day I left the monastery and was sat in the Lay Chapel, was once a member of Our Lady of Muswell parish in London? ... what are the odds of that?
...Fancy me being a Benedictine Novice with a Carmelite connection to St Elizabeth of the Trinity- it was my Novice book and then, after I left that monastic congregation, finding a relic of St Elizabeth of The Trinity in the local parish that I joined? ... what are the odds of that?
...Fancy a Lay woman who inadvertently helped me right a terrible wrong/calumny in my current Largs parish, was also once a member of Our Lady of Muswell parish in London? ... what are the odds of that?
...Fancy finding the only known book about Our Lady of Muswell called "An Island of Clerkenwell", in a city based around a Benedictine Solitary who himself lived on an island... what are the odds of that?
God doesn't do anything by accident. And God is AWESOME.
Our Lady of Muswell is also AWESOME.
I know now that, in my heart, I have all the discernment answers and evidence from God what His Will, for my vocation.
I entered that monastery thinking it would be for life. But after I found Our Lady of Muswell's Novena prayer in the Novice classroom I felt The Holy Spirit show me that it was God's Will for the Benedictine Nuns to return to Our Lady of Muswell parish shrine, as custodians of the restored Holy Well. I even spoke to the Mother General of that Congregation abiut it, in all openess because I thought it was their order that God wanted for this little work and my role was to pray for it all this within the order.
But after all the spiritual abuse I saw and experienced, all the anti-magisterium attitudes, Covid disobedience and the fact that they were, at the time refusing to sign up to the Church's safeguarding policy and dismissed Church Safeguarding as 'radical feminism', I knew the truth of Jesus did not exist there - despite it all looking so Holy from the outside and I am gratefull for The Holy Spirit leading me out of this monastic congregation, especially after hearing/reading other spiritual abuse information given to the Diocese and Independent safeguarding agencies that this monastic order also has a history of 'going after' ex-members, in a bid to discredit them personally so as to undermine their spiritual abuse testimonies, potentially using other members of the Church to help them do this.
After discerning since 2020, I feel confident now that God has shown me His Will for my vocation. I know from St Benedict's own life, that any vocation pathway is rarely linear and involves lots of trials and testings.
It seems that it is God's Will for me to be a privately consecrated, (dedicated), Catholic Lay Benedictine Solitary, with a Charism inspired by St Margaret Alacoque and St John The Baptist - praying St Benedicts Monastic Divine Office, in a hidden life centered around Holy Mass and "Ora et Laboura", being a voice crying out in the wilderness whenever the Holy Spirit prompts me, as part of God's long Lay tradition to keep the flame of the 'long fostered' seed alive, for the complete restoration and resurrection of Our Lady of Muswell's ancient pilgrim Holy Well, Shrine and Benedictine Order.
I personally pray that this new Benedictine order is made up of Catholic spiritual abuse survivors, especially those who were once Perpetually Professed.
The spiritual warfare is off the charts, no surprise there but as the 'Imitation of Christ' book tells us, the perfect monastic is content to be thought of as the fool. My experience of this is really true. Inner peace is achieved by being able to live your life according to the Litany of Humility - or the 'Great Liberation', as I call it, which honestly gives a person true interior life freedom to exist entirely in and for the love and service to The Trinity, The Immaculate Heart and the whole Communion of Saints. Heaven on earth. Heaven in the Soul.
And it's so lovely in there!
I think it would be impossible to be happier.
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